Peter was St. John’s son

Then Jesus calls him “Simon the son of John” and gives him the name Cephas/Peter, which means rock (v. 42).

John 1:42

Things die
so many things. 

Everything.

and never after you’ve said what you wanted.

that only comes after

when the grass has grown
over the stone, or

the heart has hardened out of fear and loneliness
and it’s too late to not break up.

I wanted to say I love you before I said goodbye. 
I wanted to

kiss you one more time like the first one, just off Southport.

(truth is, I haven’t kissed you like that in a long time.)

I wanted to say this was the one fucking thing you promised wouldn’t happen 
that 
you wouldn’t leave

you left me months ago when you started protecting your stance more than my heart.

you stopped listening and looking at me like you did at Viaggio

like I had wonders of the world to teach you about 
and all you wanted was more and more.

I wanted to say all the things I didn’t say
that I planned to say in Vegas

like the sunset is beautiful tonight.

I wanted to say i don’t want anymore things to die, baby!

I wanted to say 
don’t you want to hear and see anymore?? Wonders I know of? Don’t you want to show me your eyes and heart laying

completely open and waiting and smiling for me and still waiting for more?

When did my voice become smaller 

smaller

than your perspective, your demand for positivity, your idea of who you “just are”? 

(like we just are what we are and that will never change, we can’t help it 

it’s a mountain it does not move)

when did I stop feeling you holding me just with the sound of your voice?

when did my heart start breaking?

I wanted to say I can’t live without this 
this changed my life in the most beautiful-charging-energy-light way 

and I when I saw it 
I prayed
I bowed with my head to the ground

I swore to God

“I won’t ever let it go”.




I wanted to say the sunset is beautiful tonight.


I wanted to say please don’t let me go.
just like I would have in Vegas.

Building
Tumbling down
Didn’t know our love was so small
Couldn’t stand at all
Mr St. John just bring your son

Tori Amos