All I have tonight is my resentments

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.”

I don't have the serenity or courage or the wisdom. 

What I have is the courage to live. I have nothing else.

I'm stripped down to nothing. 

Nothing that has ever been or done provides reliable information for me. 

All I have is the screaming 
outside 

the nail salon, telling one more guy 
to stop.

And I will try 
to avoid building up a great big wall
as a desperate way to be ok with it. 

Of course the wall is still going up. 

(I can see myself stacking bricks and you're on the other side 

asking 
me 
to 
stop.

I'm so sorry that I cannot.)



I fear it'll never be ok. I fear ending 

the day 
without hearing your voice. 

I don't expect to.

And the bricks go higher and higher, 
as I grow more and more resentment 
that I will not hear it. 

So I stack and say I'm sorry I'm sorry.